To me, Thanksgiving and TV have always been two great tastes that taste great together. When I was a kid, I remember religiously watching E.T. every single year on Thanksgiving with my family. Once I hit college, however, Turkey Day took on a whole new meaning.
“We gather together to watch cheesy movies…” That little jingle stuck with me through the years, courtesy of the hilarious Mystery Science Theater 3000 (or, MST3K for us in the know). It’s a show featuring one guy and a trio of robots simply watching really bad old movies, while they talk and heckle their way through such painful classics as The Atomic Brain. Every year on Thanksgiving, they’d run a marathon of truly horrendous films.
Finally, a productive and highly entertaining use for Turkey TV. Of course, these days there’s also legitimate Turkey TV thanks to recent movies like Free Birds. But that got me thinking… Netflix houses some of my favorite TV shows, but clearly they’re also a safeh aven for some terrifically terrible Turkey TV!
So I did some digging (and groaning, lots of groaning) and found 8 of the Biggest Turkeys on Netflix! And because Thanksgiving is all about sharing, I thought I’d make sure you all knew about these films so you could suffer enjoy them as much as I have.
In theory, this is a great idea. Peter Pan actually grows up and completely forgets about his past, living a normal human life. Until Hook shows up to kidnap his kids and force him back to Neverland. With Robin Williams as Peter Pan, you’d expect a boatload of crazy antics and zany shenanigans and instead you get a fairly flat performance with a story that’s a total snoozefest. Seriously, I’d rather watch Jake and the Pirates.
Jack Black + professional wrestling? With a cape and luchadore mask? Yes, please! No way this could go bad at all. In fact, with a name like Nacho Libre, the only way this movie could fail is if the story was 10 times stupider than funny. Oh yeah. Right. Sadly, even my low standards couldn’t fake interest in the good-hearted Ignacio and the orphanage he was trying to save by disguising himself as the wrestler Nacho Libre.
I’ll be honest and say that I have never seen Dana Carvey’s Master of Disguise. I just know that it was panned by critics and viewers alike, and pretty much makes everyone’s list of Worst Movies Ever Made. The trailer alone (With Carvey disguised as a turtle man repeatedly annoying viewers by saying, “I am the Master of Disguise!”) still makes me cringe.
I’m a huge fan of the original RoboCop. Not a fan of the sequel. And even more not a fan of the third film in this franchise. (Can you call it a franchise if only one of the films was any good?) This one actually toned down the violence a bit and gave ol’ Robo a jetpack. Yes, a jetpack so he could fly around be that much badder. It’s like watching a live-action version of a toy commercial.
Highlander 3: The Final Dimension
I would put Highlander 2 up there as one of (if not THE) the worst movie sequels of all-time. Like ever. And ever. The first Highlander was beyond epic. The sequel… well, it had a ridiculous montage scene of Sean Connery trying on different outfits. Apparently, Highlander 2’s so atrocious, even Netflix won’t get their hands on it. So instead, you get Highlander 3 which was equally as bad.
“A bumbling Navy lieutenant who’s been given one last chance to clean up his record is assigned to a submarine that can barely keep afloat.” Any time a movie’s description features the word “bumbling,” that should be your clue to go read a book. Kelsey Grammer is awesome as the arrogant psychiatrist on Frasier and… well, that’s about it. He’s so not good for humorous roles, especially when they’re not even funny.
I was all about Baby Spice back in the day. Clearly it was all about those blonde pigtails. But after you look past the eye candy, what are you left with? Why, just a horribly acted, terribly plotted, painful movie. About an annoying all-girl band.
What happens when Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck team up for thriller of a film? Uh, not much. Certainly no thrills. Also, no chemistry. And apparently no plot or acting either.
What are your favorite movie turkeys?
#StreamTeam
I love Hook, not all Robins roles are funny. I also like Down Periscope it reminds me of Operation Petticoat. Turkey movies for me would be: Them, The Darkness, Pulp Fiction – the gun pointing thing gets me, One Missed Call remake – the bad cgi, Armagedon – the whole relationship at the end was hard for me to believe, and probably some more movies. Ones where you notice strings and changes in the bad guy like in The Tooth Fairy – interesting story but some laughable moments
You can watch down periscope a million times, and its great every single time, its one of those movies that no matter how old it gets its always awesome to watch
I love their assortments of movies, with movies added and deleted every month, you just never know what you might find! ;D
Nothing beats Spice World
Now that is a bad ass list of turkeys!
Thank you. I love sharing in my suffering!
Yes highlanders after the original were awful. Then you had the series which was equally as bad. True turkeys indeed.
I DONT THINK I HAVE SEEN ANY OF THESE MOVIES, BUT I WILL SOME DAY
I can honestly day I haven’t watched any of those except Hook and I blame it on being forced by my parents as a kid. It was a Peter Pan movie. Of course it would be good… Eh. So unfortunate.
haha these are defitnley some turkeys
I am happy to say I have never seen any of these movies!
I have never watch Netflix nor have I seen any of these movies so can’t comment on any of them. I just purchased my first DVD player this year so have not had a chance to watch many movies.
Love this! I am known as the ‘queen of cheese’ in my family because I love to watch cheesy movies (usually cheesy horror flicks) just to laugh at them, my family doesn’t get it LOL Master of Disguise–to this day I still say ‘turtle turtle’ lmao thank you for sharing your cheese! lol
Oh man, my wife and I were on an anniversary trip rafting in West Virginia and wanted to see a movie, but all we could find was a dollar theater playing Nacho Libre. We both agreed that we overpaid.
Haha, I have watched Nacho Libre, Spice World and Robocop 3 and I agree with you that they are not the best movies. I have a soft spot for Spice World though, because I was a Spice Girls fan back in the day. Their music was everything so I forgive their awful movie.
I’m on a Hunger Games kick right now for some reason, and Catching Fire is on Netflix. And of course, you can always dive in to Once Upon A Time and watch all 3 seasons as a family…from now until Christmas!!! We did this starting Fall Break…love it!
Ahhh… There’s nothing like loafing on the sofa when your recovering from an over dose of food! Funny you mention E.T. My poor Dad, he took me to see E.T. in the theater when I was 7 years old. Right about the middle of the movie I started crying in pain from an ear ache so we had to leave. Turned out that I had Swimmers ear. Man that hurt!
Traditionally on Thanksgiving when we are loafing on the sofa, we like to kick off the start of Christmas by watching National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. My favorite part is when Clark is flying down the hill on the sled, it’s the sparks as he goes flying through the parking lot that crack me up. Love that movie. Then after the kids go to bed I like to watch Bad Santa too. Haha,now that’s a funny movie!
Have a Happy Thanksgiving with your Family.
Ha ha! The only one I have seen is Hook!
Hey now – I happen to like a couple of these like Down Periscope and Hook. So they aren’t the best but I still enjoy them.
I’m about to make your [turkey] day…
https://www.shoutfactory.com/editorials/mst3k-turkey-day-sale-marathon
BAM. You’re welcome.
I LOVE DOWN PERISCOPE!!! You probably prefer Major Payne.
Your affection for the child-like Baby Spice is disturbing. We should have a talk.
Don’t turn this around on me. For some reason, you look like the type of person who would love Down Periscope.
hee hee love this. I know we’ll be on Netflix checking out some movies this weekend!
I agree with you about these movies. Hook is awful, but my son loved it when he was younger. I can not stand the movie Robo Cop 3, but then again my son does like it. And Gigli is terrible, I could not watch more than a half an hour of this movie.
Thank you for your support, Julie!
LOL. Ive only seen Hook out of all those. And I actually like that one!
Ugh, Hook was awful! We thought it would be a nice family movie. We tried to watch it but just couldn’t.
Same here!!! Never saw it and watched it recently with the kids. It was downright painful!
Haha, love it! Definitely agree that a majority of those are turkeys for sure!