Fifty Shades of Pain

A few weeks ago I attended a Cafe Mom party tying in to the Blog Her 12 conference that was happening in NYC at the time. It was a great chance for me to meet the editors I’ve been working with for months now. I always feel it helps, no matter what the business, to make face time with the people you work with remotely.

I had a great time at the party and am definitely glad I attended. And not just because of the free food and free booze…

The only rough part, however, was when my editor Suzanne grabbed me by the arm and rushed me through a maze of corridors to a hidden room in their office. I had no idea what to expect. Is there where they tell me they no longer need my writing services and finish me off? No, no plastic on the carpet. So I knew I was safe from that.

Sadly, it was actually far far worse than any death you can imagine. I was forced into a literal Red Room of Pain. Lights glaring, camera rolling, and me in a chair reading passages from Fifty Shades of Grey. This can only be what Jason and Freddy have nightmares about, right? Where’s Elm Street when you need it?

Well, now it seems the kind folks over at CafeMom Studios have put together a video clip of various writers reading a passage from EL James’ uber-popular mommy porn book. You’ll find great writers like Mama’s Losin’ It, Scary Mommy, Mommy With Tattoos, and The Domestic Buzz. Oh, and apparently there’s also… um… me. Yeah. My part starts around the 1:02 mark, but it’s worth watching the whole thing.

To be honest, I don’t know what was more painful overall: Watching myself on this video or reading the book originally.