In junior high, I often wore Batman T-shirts. “Uh, so what?” you’re probably wondering. Well this was back before Tim Burton’s 1989 Batman movie brought comic books back into the mainstream. So yeah, I faced a fair share of ridicule.
Did it make me feel stupid? Embarrassed? Sure. Many times I wanted to just crawl into my shell, if I had one. But I didn’t. I’d usually give some sarcastic response and walk away.
In college, I proudly wore a denim jacket full of ridiculous patches featurign Twisted Sister all over them. This time, I laughed with the others but still proudly wore it. I’d tell people, “I have no shame,” but in reality I was just trying to be me. And there’s nothing shameful in that.
Bullying sadly, continues to be a huge part of life. It’s most prominent in kids on the playground or schoolbus, but it happens to us all. And until the last bully pulls his final wedgie, we’ll continue to try knocking them all down to size.
The best way to fight a bully? Not with fists. Not with curses. No. It’s by building up self-esteem one person at a time.
And now there’s a new tool to help every single individual overcome the challenges in their lives. Whether minor major, these challenges can be overcome with help and support of others. And that’s the premise behind Cigna.com’s Go You Hub. The global health service’s new online gathering place is a multimedia website that celebrates “you” being “you.”
From peer-pressure to body image to self-confidence, Go You is the ultimate online support group. You’ll find all sorts of stories from individuals who overcame huge adversity, as well as plenty of tips and insights on bullying and self-image from news articles and white papers written by physicians, behaviorists and clinicians.
To help celebrate the launch of the Go You Hub, Cigna’s sponsoring the essay contest “Pay It Backward.” By writing about an individual who inspired you to become the best you can be, you have a chance at winning a trip to a destination of your choice! The contest ends November 21, 2013, so see the GO YOU Hub for more details.
I wish they had resources like this when my daughter was getting bullied…. she still has self-esteem issues from it, no matter how much I try to encourage to just be herself and let her know she is perfect just the way she is.
Thanks for this website. Bullying is always just seen as something that everyone goes through growing up. Doesn’t make it right though.
I feel bad for kids today. The bullying doesn’t end because of social media they don’tget a break.
Bullying worries me because I know what I dealt with growing up. I hope to teach my two young sons to stick up for themselves in a good way and treat others as they want to be treated.
We have all gone through bullying. Has there ever been a time when children have not bullied each other? Look at the now classic example of bullying: Lord of the Flies. When I was young, we had the expression, “Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” It worked for me.
All I have heard about in schools for the past twenty years is they try so hard to build up a child’s self esteem. Schools must be failing at this. Nobody can discipline anymore. How about trying good old-fashioned morals for a change. Children need God in their lives much earlier than letting them choose a religion or no religion when they get older. Children need to grow up with a good moral conscience, and that might put an end to so much bullying.
I, being a home school teacher to my children, brought my children up with a strong belief in our Christian religion, and now my grown children grew up to be conscientious adults.
I have to agree – self-esteem is the best protection against bullies. If you feel confident in yourself, it’s a lot harder for people to get under your skin and let’s face it – bullies love getting a reaction out of their targets. Self esteem is also the best protection against peer pressure. So many people make bad decisions just to fit in or to feel liked. If you love yourself, you don’t need the same level of external validation.
I was that redheaded girl that was different looking from all the other girls. I was bullied all through school. I think these parents with blinders on that think their kids are angels and would never do such a thing need a reality check. Every parent should expose their kids to what bullying can do or could do to the one who is being bullied. Show them the news article of a girl who killed herself because someone wouldn’t stop picking on them. It seems harsh but in real life it happens all the time and kids need to know what they are doing could make another person do to themselves. If this happens at age of junior high this to me could stop a lot of bullying to begin with. I seen on tv just recently a girl took her own life because of constant bullying and it made me remember how terrible I felt about myself and what went through my mind day after day of it. So seeing something like this makes me think that I am thankful that there is help out there for kids now and it’s not just swept under the rug. So many things like peer pressure, bullying and body image are things that teens going through can talk to other teens about. Sometime it does help to know you are not alone.
Hey, Rebecca. Thank you for sharing that personal story with everyone. While it’s awful how kids can use all sorts of social media to bully others (to the tragic point of suicide even!), it’s also great that kids and parents alike can also use social media and websites to help each other out. All those bullied kids are so not alone, they just need to realize it.
I’m so glad my kids were never bullied – my youngest always sticks up for the underdog which is so encouraging to see. Luckily the schools near us are really cracking down hard on kids being bullied.
Bullying is so bad these days (worse than when I was growing up) and that is one reason I homeschool my kids. I have one child with special needs and kids can be so mean. When I was young there were bullies but you could get away from it when you get home but with social networking you can’t even do that. I think it is great to have a group that can help kids when they experience these issues.
I always tell my boys not to start the fight but that they have every right to defend themselves and finish it. I agree that kids need to build up their self esteem then it’s easier for them to just walk away and ignore the little malcontent that is trying to stir things up but in all reality parents have to be involved as well in teaching our kids when to walk away, when to stand up for themselves and what’s right because sadly I believe there will always be some form or other of bullies in this world.
I agree that self-confidence and esteem is number one. . . if all else fails you have to stop being an easy victim and stand up for yourself.
I love that it celebrates you being you. And I so want your twisted sister jacket. *jealous*
Self esteem, embarrassment… as I’ve gotten older and realized life is short I’ve cared less and less about what others think. It makes things a whole lot easier 🙂
I think low self esteem affects way more people than they would like to admit. Bullying is horrible and at least schools are trying to make a dent into the problem
Keep loving your kids.
i love the self esteem sentence.. you have to have self esteem to build yourself up against things like that…
I’m glad that bullying is being talked about these days. When I was in school it wasn’t talked about and schools didn’t take it as seriously as they do these days. Our childrens school talks to their students and has a meeting for parents about bullying. If my children were every bullied I would feel comfortable going to their school to talk about it with the principal.
This sounds like a great tool to help connect with people who are experiencing the same things you are.
Bullying is a problem everywhere, even in workplace, too. It is good to concentrate one at a time, and to help your own kids learn how to handle situations. It doesn’t take much for a kid to get picked on, not everyone can be part of an in-crowd. I notice at work the people who have the skin of an armadillo are much better off than others . That is a cool contest – I’m going to check it out!
well have when thru this with my son,,an ive told him NOT to stand an be anybodys punching bag,,never hit first but if attacked to fight back,,he had been bullied for years,an then one day when in the 8th grade he got attacked an he pounded that kid good,which he deserved,,the one who started it got expelled an my son was punished because he was a good kid just sticking up for himself,,needless to say they Never bothered him again,,you can only take so much before you have to stand up for yourself,,an if that means hitting back then so be it,,,I never want a child or grandchild of mine to stand an take a beating from someone without fighting back
I meant to say my son WAS NOT punished because he was a good kid just protecting himself
I agree that if someone hits you first, you have every right to defend yourself and should not be punished. I’m not a fan of confrontations in any way whatsoever so avoiding it in the first place would be my first approach, but when faced with nothing but physical abuse, hell yeah you should fight back.
I’m with you, Vicki. My daughter was bullied horribly in school, and was afraid to fight back. She was just a target over and over, until I went to the kid’s moms and told them the next time they picked on my kid, they would have to deal with ME.
And I disagree with Sandy. You never want to promote violence, that’s horrible.
I’m not promoting violence, Janet..I’m.. promoting self-defense. Once ONE bully sees they can get away with it, you become a target for ALL the bullies. No one, (a kid or adult), should have to live with a (metaphorical) “Kick Me” sign on his/her back.
Gotta disagree with you on this one. The best way to keep a bully away is to beat the living crap out of him. (this is the voice of experience).
Well I see what you’re saying, Sandy and yes I do agree with you. But I guess my bigger point is, until you have the self-esteem to realize that you CAN stand up to this bully and fight back, it’s tough to just beat the living crap out of him.