This post contains spoilers from AMC’s The Walking Dead TV show. If you aren’t completely caught up on the show, what the hell are you waiting for?!? Go watch and then come back and read!
If you’re a Walking Dead fan, you’ve got to be loving this season so far. The entire story with the Governor has been pretty ruthless and unpredictable. Well, except for one thing. You can count on Andrea continuing to be the most annoying character ever.
Lori used to proudly hold that title with her nonsensical attitude and her inability as a mother to keep her eye on her son for more than 8 seconds at a time. Where is Carl by the way? But thanks to Little Ass-Kicker (a.k.a. Judith), Rick’s two-timing wife needed an emergency C-section, which meant she was nothing but Zombie food after that.
So with Lori out of the picture, Andrea proudly takes the crown as the most annoying Walking Dead character. When she’s not covered in blood or zombie guts, she’s a cute blonde. I’m supposed to like her regardless of what comes out of her mouth. But she’s so unbelievably unlikable, that she makes me scream at my TV set every single week.
I couldn’t stand that Girls Next Door reality show starring Hugh Hefner’s three favorite Playmates, but as atrociously annoying as they all were, I never wished death upon any of them! In fact, I can’t recall ever wishing that a blonde character would be killed off before. Thankfully, there’s a first for everything.
The only reason I love the scenes with Andrea in them are that I’m praying a zombie’s just around the corner, ready to put an end to her pathetic character. I used to like Andrea. In the beginning she was a tough-as-nails broad, dealing with the horrific loss of her sister and fighting off the creepy advances from dirty old man Dale. She even tried killing herself once because she didn’t see the point in even going on. And like Shane, she was another take-no-prisoners-ask-no-questions member of the group and even planned on running off together.
But then she met the Governor. And was blinded by love. How else can you explain what a shallow, pathetic, weak character she’s become on the show now? How can she completely trust this bizarre leader (he kept severed HEADS in fish tanks!), and give up 100% on Michonne, a woman who kept her alive for so many months?
No, Andrea is just useless. And she needs to die. Quick and painless. Slow and painful. I don’t care. Just get her off the show already.
A recent Facebook discussion with some of my friends led to me coming up with the idea for a list of ways I’d like to see Andrea killed off. Except for my buddy Dave (whose biggest weakness in life is to watch and enjoy every single sci-fi TV show and movie ever made), I figure 98.9% of Walking Dead fans agree with me. Heck there’s even a We Hate Andrea From the Walking Dead Facebook Group.
Anyways, without further ado, I offer up my killer list of Andrea death scenes. I can only pray that the WD writers read my blog.
10 Ways I Want Andrea from ‘The Walking Dead’ to Bite It
10. Rick turns the tables on Andrea by handcuffing her and parading her out in front of the zombie crowd using the same metal leash she used to make her way into the prison. He then rings the dinner bell.
9. Remember that time she accidentally shot Daryl for some stupid reason? Hilarious! Well, payback’s a bitch, Andrea. Especially when it comes in the form of an arrow through your eye.
8. Think Glenn’s forgotten being tied to a chair and savagely beaten by Merle? Yes, he wants Merle dead, but he’d be happy to tie Andrea to a chair and beat her to a bloody pulp with a baseball bat. After all, it was her boyfriend that gave the orders.
7. Her face just freezes like that. (Shout out to Kenda for this one.)
6. After holding Judith, she gets baby fever. The Governor knocks her up and 8 months into her pregnancy, even the baby’s sick of Andrea’s whining so he/she pulls an Alien and bursts out of Andrea’s stomach before whistling to the nearby zombies to come and get it.
5. Beth sings her death with some folksy/spiritual song that nobody’s ever heard of before.
4. Who cares how? Just make sure she’s on the menu and everyone’s happy.
3. After a quick slice-and-dice, she becomes the first addition to the Governor’s new Fish Tank of Horrors.
2. Michonne finally goes in for a long, romantic kiss with Andrea, gazing into her eyes before shoving a sword right through her heart.
1. Shot in the face by Carl to put us all out of our misery.
How do you want to see Andrea killed off?